Fast forward several long years of doctor appointments, Vocational Rehab, finding my restrictions limits and coming to terms this injury is not getting better. I hired a lawyer to help me with my work comp case, and my former employer was completely on my side and understood the injuries I sustained, nothing contested. This road of laws, appointments, paying your bills, filing unemployment, disability and everything was crazy hard to figure out for a 20 year old. Not to mention a huge breakup with my boyfriend left me on my own, fending for myself and figuring out how to survive.
I have to say with all of it, the medication given to me, and the different types of treatments each doctor guessed at, not one time were pain killers offered to me. Crazy to think I was in all the pain, and they only wanted to give me anti-inflammatories (which wrecked my digestive system for life by the way) and nerve blockers that screwed up your head so much you couldn't function. It wasn't a high, it was a mental misfire, and forgetting is not something you want to do when you have numerous doctor appointments, and filings to do just to get a check for $300 so you can feed yourself. I suggest staying away from Neurotin and Gabapentin. They were too harsh for me.
So I continued to play the game, I followed the rules, I filled out all of the millions of forms. The doctors just shuffled me back and forth. The physical therapists were the worst, they tried, but they didn't know what my injury was so for the most part they made my pain worse.
I was 20. Really, at 20 I should have been in the prime of my life having a blast. Not me. I was trying to stay afloat, surviving. I moved a lot, I rented rooms, did burn a few bridges but not on purpose just because I didn't know any better. I don't remember my parents at all during this time. My dad was someone I tried to avoid, and who knows what my mom was doing. I was it, I had me, and I had to make it through each day. Knowing my families histories of drug and alcohol abuse I didn't not turn to substances to mask the pain.
One day I ran into a family I had babysat for in the past. Their kids were older and they offered to pay me to pick the kids up from school and help them with homework. I wasn't working and couldn't pay my bills. It didn't break any rules, watching this kids would allow me to stick to my restrictions and given me some extra cash to make ends meet. This ended up being the best move, because the dad of the kids, knew a doctor an hour away, and he was the best money could buy. This dad got me an appointment to be evaluated. A huge blessing!
After seeing the specialist he agreed to take on my claim. I saw this doctor for 15 years. We tried PT, injections, medications, and finally a new surgery. Over the 15 years, I grew up, got a job closer to the doctor, and transferred my life away from everything I knew to get out of debt and pain. My injury costs me $27k in debt and living expenses. I was able to get the help I needed, land a job, get out of debt, and eventually have surgery. The surgery didn't fix my issue, but made life tolerable as long as I stuck to my restrictions of 20 lbs and no repetitive bending, stooping, lifting or pushing.
Easy right? Wrong, a very big change in life but I eventually figured it out. I have to say that my perseverance and not giving up was a huge factor I was young, I had the energy to fight this battle, but it still drained me. All my lives hopes and dreams changed. But I was lucky, the move and change allowed me to meet my now husband of 15 years. So for that the pain was worth it.
Now to start a family, like I always wanted.....not knowing that would lead me down another path of pain and suffering like I never imagined.
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